In keeping with my whole "scientific name" thing I did a few weeks back, I decided to make a thread about Grifball's "Laws of nature". These are supposed to resemble things like Newton's Laws of Gravity or theories or other things of that sort.

Without further adieu, the first Laws!

Ezy's Law: If it is profitable for Ezy to eat a hammer lunge, Ezy will eat a hammer lunge.

4G1B's Law of Inductive Reasoning: If it looks like Crusader, rolls like Crusader, and tanks like Crusader, it may be Crusader or Lightsaber.

Lightsaber's Law: If an important game/series is coming up, something will arise that disables Lightsaber's ability to play in the game/series.

TrueFlyingCow's Hypothesis: If a teammate is directly in front of you, a bonk or bomb betrayal must be executed immediately.

The Incompletion Law: If Lightsaber and Jedi Hunter play seperately, their effectiveness is reduced by 50%.

The Law of Daerk: Lord Daerk is to be randomly betrayed at uneven, unset intervals due to a permanent "Betray me" sticker on the back of his helmet.

Corrolary to the Law of Daerk: Lord Daerk must be betrayed at least once per game.

Inverse Law of Daerk: Lord Daerk can betray back after having been betrayed once.

GAJT (Grifballers Against Jump Tanks) Law: If a tank utilizes jumping in hopes of improving tanking effectiveness, he/she is to be betrayed on the spot.

Mango's Law: If it can be barrel rolled, it will be barrel rolled.

Goose's Theory: Each time Grif is slashed, a Pegacorn is born.

TPH's Law: If TacoPizzaHunter did it, it is to be implanted into a highlight reel ASAP.

Share your own funny "laws" below!

The Kal Correlation: The worse the fail with tanking skills, the greater the chance that that tank becomes a runner.

Kirsty's Conundrum: One must always flowers while picking up the bomb, no matter how inappropriate the position may be

Strangler's Law: Strangler must finish all games with over 50% of the game time holding the bomb

Nick's Law of Forums: If it can be trolled it will be trolled

Germanicus' Law of Jumping: Though must attempt to ruin all moves by jumping at the end

Muffin's Hypothesis 1: Evil laughs should be followed by the word nipples

Crab's Law of Connection: Thou must not let bad connection stop them from pulling host

Nick's Law of Names: If you have the points, change the name

Rollo's Hypothesis: Take maximum pride in always being second best

Muffin's Hypothesis 2: The more entries you enter into the Checka Challenge the more chances you have at winning

Pip's Law: Rule natural host with iron fist and a new router, and you might win. Just might.

Curry's Law: 1 Extermination is not an option, there must always be 2 per game, even if it's over.

Cydar's Hypothesis: If there is a 10-13 year old in the game, you must always use your inner squeaky voice...if you have an inner squeaky voice.

Buff Be Craziis Law: Fumble the bomb when about to plant as it is actually a hot potatoe.

Muffins Law of Forums: Spam to boost post count until given communtiy leader status

The Deadly Mushroot Law: If Mushroot is bored, he will betray you.

Zebra's Law: If Zebra is in a tight situation with the sword, he will miserably fail and die.

Joker's Law of Problems: If Joker has been using a different control scheme for some time, he will forget how to play Grifball.

Zinger's Hypothesis: If you don't tell Zinger you're dead, he won't know where you are and will end up dying.

The 4G1B Conundrum: If 4G1B needs a showstopper achievable, they won't wait for it, they will give you assassinations until they get it.

4G1Bs Law of Winning: If 4G1B has already won, they begin to do progressively crazier and crazier things until the game ends.

Jedi's Law of Motion- If Jedi Hunter comes into contact with the ball, he will pick the ball up and continue in a forward motion. This motion cannot be stopped by anything, including teammates. 25% rate of success.

Law of Action and Reaction- If a player yells "Do Something!", the medichlorians of the force will react causing an unbalance in energy. This energy will boost any teammate of 4G1B into a 100% success rate.

The Fundamental Theory of Tad

Part One: If Tad does not have the bomb, he will always stop the ball carrier right before he or she scores.

Part Two: If Tad has the bomb, he will always jump over the heads the the opposing team unharmed.

The Three-Sixty Theory: A wall-hop score that includes a 360 (or better) spin will boost team morale by 62.4%.

The Intrinsic Law of Sword Tanks: A sword tank that goes positive is to be knighted on the spot.

4G1B's Pass Theorem: Crusader and Lightsaber's power is increased by 71.2% with each successful pass-roll.

Muffin's law to party chat - Thou must never use their inside voice

Kirsty's law to launching - If Sev is in possession of the bomb, a launch is sure to ensue, no matter how inappropriate the situation. Said launch must always be initiated by a signal, particularly one that involves coughing or crouching. Shouting 'launchypoo' is also an acceptable initiation

Muffin's law to round ends - Thou must never betray or kill, only shuffle

When asked for a 'Tank in' or launch, thou must die by enemy hand first

The law of Flatface - When playing in tense situations, Nathan must be on hand to drop one liners.

Even if the bomb the been taken previously in the tip off, a hammer jump will still be initiated, regardless of the consequences.

The Rainbow ruling - If you lose a final against a rival team, you must destroy that team from the inside by taking away their most reliable member.

Law of lobbies: When a girl joins the lobby everyone must 'act cool'

Law of callouts: When a team-mate says the runner is '1 hit' they definitely aren't.

Sev's law of running: When on a stiffarm spree, you must make grunting noises.

Law of british grifball: You must emphasise the fact you drink tea when foreigners join the party.

Poopboys's law to Taking a Knee Whenever thou takes a knee, thou must have a bonk betrayal war or thou shal suffer Sarge's Curse.
KnuXles's Law Whenever KnuXles has the bomb he shall be a pussy foot.

Muffin's Law of Randoms: If you should ever lose a game of Matchmaking, it was the randoms fault

Linxx's Playing Law: Though shall not play

Kirsty's Friend Request Hypotheses: Though must accept every friend request they are sent, just in case.

Germ's Tanking Hypotheses: Who said Grifball couldn't be settled in a 1v1?

Matt's Law of Leaving: Players shouldn't leave a game until they are physically removed by the leader, no matter how many times their captain timidly tell them

Muffin's Awesome Hypotheses: If things can be made to look more awesome than they actually are they probably should be.

Also is that my KnuXles or another one?

Yours